Gah okay well I don’t wanna sound like a typical gross teenage girl.. but I will :p I want a boyfriend so bad ._. I have so many guy friends but i guess I’m just not good enough to actually date? I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve only kissed a guy once and even that was just… I don’t even know why we did it, we just did, but yeah. I just want a boyfriend. Thats all :/
Waking up in the middle of the night to the screams, to the yelling, to the sounds of random objects hitting the walls, to the slamming doors… to the crying.Just sitting here waiting for her to make her way to my room, to her telling me it’s my fault, waiting for the pain, the guilt. I can’t take anymore of it. I don’t wanna relapse again but it’s getting harder and harder. I need to get out of here. I need to be away. I need someone to help. I’ve never told anyone every single thing that’s happened, not that many people care. I don’t wanna sound like that typical brat teenager “oh no one gets me, no one understands” but that’s how it is. I go to school, put on a good face, no one suspects a thing. It works… for awhile. But then something big happens and I come into school a mess. People ask whats wrong but no one truly cares. I found out that every single teacher in my grade had a meeting and in that meeting they said I was manipulative and I used my home problems as an excuse for not doing my work. That is complete BS. I do my work I turn it in and I get good grades. Sure they may be slipping a bit, but that has nothing to do with home problems. I have been having medical issues lately and have missed a lot of school. I have never once used home problems as an excuse for not doing my work. They don’t know me. They don’t know a damn thing about me, and yet they want to sit and talk about me? I have my own crap to deal with and then they do that? Heck, my best friend invited me over Friday cause my mom had a breakdown. It was just supposed to be me and her so I could get away from everything. I needed that time, I needed her, so much, more then she new. But then she invited her boyfriend which turned into a make out session. Thank you, I loved seeing you guys suck face while I thought about what my mom would do when I came home. When will anyone realize that no matter what I do or say, I’m not happy and I need someone. Anyone. Someone who wont judge me, who wont tell me I’m stupid or ugly, someone I can truly talk to. I want that person that immediately knows whats wrong and I don’t have to lie to. There is not a single person in my life that I have never lied to. I’m tired of it. I’m so freaking tired. Of everything. I know that this sounds extremely selfish, but I’m beyond caring anymore. I just want everything to go away. I need it to. Please, I just need someone to take me away from here. Someone to care. Please.
Base By: Jahrenesis
